It’s tough to pinpoint exactly when Dr. Robin Zasio became a style icon for me, but here we are at Season 6, Episode 10 of Hoarders, and I’m absentmindedly Googling “frosty pink lip.”

In my expert opinion^†, the best episodes of Hoarders are the Southern episodes of Hoarders.  Sure the mess might be bigger in other parts of the country, but if you’re going for personality with your heap of steaming refuse, then look no further than beneath the Mason-Dixon line.  Below that line, your chances of hearing someone saying that ‘the situation just esquelated’ increase nearly 300%.  

Also, watch your step.  Sometimes critters is family too.

Child hoarders are the second-best kind of hoarders.  I’m holding out for that Toddlers & Tiaras/Hoarders crossover!

^{†(I’m on Season 3.  I’m about ready to get a bad haircut and call myself a ‘veteran organizer, specializing in obsessive behaviors.’)}

Gratuitous Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

^{(Also let’s just talk about that one episode of Hoarders where, included as an afterthought in the epilogue, the text overlay stated that the wife of a hoarder “suffered a massive heart attack three weeks later,” as if that’s something that really added to the narrative of this dude cleaning out his rental properties or rather, as if that is a statement that should be tossed off like the day’s lunch menu at the end of announcements over a middle school intercom.)}