Originally posted today on Facebook because the only link to the outside world I had during my flight was a Facebook-only Wi-Fi connection sponsored by CougarTown.

When the flight attendant came to my row for drinks, and I asked for a Coke Zero, he ACTUALLY Amelia-Bedelia-ed me; giving me just a cup of ice and moving on to the next few rows. To be fair, I was a bit lost in my book for a second, but when I did turn around he called out smugly, “Can I help you?” I recited the dumb punch line of his joke with him: that he had given me “Zero Coke,” as I had requested.

I think the only person who enjoyed the gag more than the attendant was my seat-mate, who moments before was loudly expressing his jealousy to our 18-year old window-seat occupant who was headed for basic training. “It’s gonna be so sweet dude. You’re gonna get to play with assault rifles all day. Just like Call of Duty! I’m so jealous; I’m starting grad school and they won’t let me keep a rifle on campus. Can you believe it?”

GET ME ON THE GROUND.

In a fun twist ending, my baggage was lost.